The Last Stop

This one's for all the hoes and homies out there who have been crying for a new glass to be poured by the bartender. I don't really have anything solid to write about, just a bunch of mixed thoughts and incohesive ramblings. If you're looking for insight or wise words, stop looking here, you won't find any. Today is complete nonsense. My blog today will be just like when Jesus stopped preaching to everyone and just chilled with them; when he stopped talking in parables and started using slang. My blog today will be just like that, but not, because of the obvious, IM NOT JESUS. Jesus had that uncanny ability to take slang and hangout time and turn it into a lesson that usually led to a blind man being able to see for the first time. I don't have that power yet. Jesus could never be just one of the guys, he always had to be the "miracle maker." I can only think about how annoyed the disciples would get when the boys were just chillen out around the campfire at night cracking jokes and coming up with the first "yo mama" jokes, telling each other to pull their fingers, and Jesus would just one up them all by making the fire speak or something. Anyway, thats a whole other blog, maybe even sermon one day. See look I've already rambled away a good bit of length. Anyway, lets do some communicating people... lets get down to business.

• So I saw fat Mariah Carey at the Golden Globes last night and I had to struggle to keep the throw up in my throat. Why in the F is she at the Golden Globes? She was in that one movie like 4 years ago that might just be the worst movie ever made. She's not an actress, she's another crappy singer that's liked by people who I guess just enjoy having their ears bleed. And another question, how the crap has her new crap broken records set by Elvis? I know God made everyone for a reason, I just find it extremely difficult to see what her reason is.
• Mark May 26th on your calanders people. X-Men 3 will be hitting the big screen. My all time favorite X-Men will be doing damage and out-witting the enemy with encyclopedias and math equations. Yes, that's right, The Beast.

• Just got back from Tulsa yesterday. Really not that bad. I was impressed.
• Do you guys realize that players will be reporting to spring training within a month? Let me say that again, do you guys realize that players will be reporting to spring training within a month? Seriously, this is the year the Texas Rangers make it back to the postseason. If they don't I will never watch baseball again.
• Okay so that last sentence was a lie, but I will be very angry.
• Where in the heck did the men's Missouri Tiger basketball team come from? They are owning the big12. I thought they were supposed to be worse than Gaylor?
• Speaking of gay stuff, I'm still bummed that i got my sign taken away at the last basketball game. Come on, "Faggies" isn't that offensive. Don't worry though, I'll be back with an even better one Event Staff man.
• I'm addicted to my new DMB stuff. I highly recommend you checking out dave's website and throwing down $60 for the complete weekend at Red Rocks. It is beautiful, beautiful stuff. I'm convinced that the band we worship to in heaven will sound an awful lot like these boys. Minus the periodic expletives.
• Anyone hear what the mayor of New Orleans said the other day concerning the rebuilding of his city? No, well let me inform you... Ray Nagin (the mayor) said that a) God was mad at America and b) "New Orleans will once again be a chocolate city." WHOA! I won't say anything about letter a because we alllll know how dumb that statement is, but letter b! That is genius, a city entirely made of chocolate! I assume this what he means, because NO ONE is dumb enough to say on national TV that he basically hopes New Orleans will be an all black city. Maybe he is though. Let's just hope that he's planning on making the city out of herseys and snicker bars. He might want to relocate the city in a different region though, those hurricanes might screw him again, but that doesn't matter cause God's pissed at him anyway.
  

Willy Wonka could be the mayor! Wait, he's white. Nevermind.

That's all everybody. If you're black and intrested in running for political office in the new and improved all chocolate New Orleans, send Ray Nagin your applications. Love all you guys.